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I’m told that in marketing, there’s a thing called the Rule of 7 that says people need to be exposed to things seven times before making a decision. So here goes nothing…
In case you just fell out of a coconut tree, we’re hosting author Brad Stulberg for a fireside chat next Thursday, August 1st, at 12 PM ET, and we hope you’ll come! We’ll be chatting about his latest book, Master of Change, which is full of great advice.
I actually thought about it this morning as I got on the treadmill, which I really didn’t want to do. But then I said to myself in my best Brad Stulberg voice, “Behavioral activation, Rachel, you’ve got this.” And I did it.
But enough about me—enjoy this week’s edition of The Murmuration!
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Each week, we share an applied tip or did-you-know to help you build knowledge and hone essential skills that help you kick butt at work and in life.
Coaching for Failure
If I had a dollar for every social media post that told me to “embrace failure,” I’d be sitting on a beach sipping piña coladas right now instead of drowning myself in Diet Coke and stress-writing this newsletter. It's easy advice to give, but hard to practice, because the last time I checked, no one gets a raise for failing and no one gets a bonus for messing up.
We tend to talk a big game about celebrating failure, but I see very few companies and leaders getting it right. So it's time to put our money where our mouth is, managers. Let's talk about coaching for failure—because if we're not failing, we're not trying hard enough.
Failure is the New Success
Research shows that embracing and learning from failure can lead to greater innovation and resilience. Ask the most successful person you know and they’ll tell you the path to success is paved with failures. James Dyson—the guy who made the vacuum—failed 5,126 times before landing on his winning product. Oprah was fired from her first job as a television news anchor. Failure isn't just okay, it's practically essential.
So how do we actually embrace and celebrate it?
Creating a Failure-Friendly Zone
Here—as with many things at work—culture is key. And culture is forged over time with intentionality and effort. Here’s how:
- Model Vulnerability: Next time you mess up, resist the urge to hide in the proverbial supply closet. Instead, share the failure with your team in all its glory. Express gratitude, share lessons learned, and literally celebrate!! Why not pull together a happy hour version of The Office’s Dundies? Hand out awards for the Most Valuable Mistake or Most Graceful Face-Plant.
- Introduce the "Failure Resume": Encourage your team to document their failures and lessons learned. It's like a LinkedIn profile but for things that didn't work out. Bonus: it makes for great happy hour conversation.
- Safety First: Google's Project Aristotle found that psychological safety was the most important factor in high-performing teams. So, create an environment where people feel safe to take risks. Praise team members for speaking up, respond gratefully and gracefully to feedback, and demonstrate with actions (not just words) that smart failures are welcomed.
Coaching Through the Flops
Once you’ve created a culture where people feel free to make mistakes and are comfortable telling you about them, you need to know how to respond. Here’s how:
Immediately: Be the Eye of the Storm.
When failure hits, it's your time to shine as a leader. Stay calm and composed—you're the emotional anchor for your team. Reassure the person who 'failed' that they're not in trouble and their job isn't at risk (assuming that's true). Say something like, "Okay, this didn't go as planned, but we're going to figure it out together."
If needed, run interference with higher-ups or other departments. Your message should be clear: "With my full support, my team member took a calculated risk that didn't pan out. We're already working on solutions and will share our learnings soon." Remember, your reaction in this moment sets the tone for how failure will be perceived in your team going forward.
Soon After: Go Digging.
Once the dust settles, it's time for some forensics. Gather your team for a blame-free autopsy of what went sideways. Ask open-ended questions like, "Walk me through what happened" and "What surprised you?" Then, go prospecting for nuggets of wisdom in the results. What did we learn? What would we do differently?
Finally, flip the script from past to future. How can we apply these hard-won insights to improve our work moving forward? Remember, we're not dwelling on past mistakes. We're building a future where we don’t make the same mistakes so that we have time and space to make new ones! (JK…kinda.)
Long Term: Capture and Incentivize.
While the opener to this article about getting bonuses and promotions for failure was somewhat of a joke, the reality is that we often behave how we are incentivized to behave. So, to some degree, we need to incentivize calculated failure. Our performance reviews should include opportunities to share and be proud of smart risks—regardless of how they turn out—and lessons learned.
Remember that there are more ways to incentivize people than titles and compensation—things like recognition, choice assignments, professional development and mentorship, leadership opportunities, or flexible arrangements. And I’m definitely not joking about the Dundies. Remember, we're not tallying screw-ups; we're celebrating the courage to venture into the unknown.
A Final Thought
Creating a failure-positive culture isn't about lowering standards, it's about raising our tolerance for the winding paths of our learning process. It's messy and uncomfortable, but it can be where the magic happens. So, go forth and fail, my friends. Fail gloriously, fail instructively, and most importantly, fail forward. None of us got where we are through a string of successes alone.
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Each week, we touch on an aspect of happiness and health at work, how to build it, and how to drive positive change in the workplace.
The Power of Pause
One of my favorite trends on social media right now is people saying, “Just once, I wish I lived in precedented times.” The swerves and surprises at a macro level have been unrelenting, and I can’t help but think that it reminds me of what the corporate environment can sometimes feel like—no time to slow down, no time to catch your breath. So, this week I’m thinking about the power of pause. In times of constant change and pressure, taking a moment to pause might be exactly what we need.
Fortunately, science backs up this intuition. Research supports the power of pausing for our cognitive function and overall well-being. A 2022 study in PLOS ONE found that micro-breaks can significantly boost productivity and reduce fatigue. Additionally, research published in the Journal of Applied Psychology suggests that taking brief breaks throughout the workday can help maintain focus and improve job performance. These pauses essentially allow our brains to reset and recharge, like a quick refresh in the midst of a hectic day.
Pausing has many specific benefits:
- Stress Reduction: Pauses can effectively interrupt the stress cycle. A simple technique is to take three deep breaths, focusing on the breath entering and leaving your body. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm your mind and body.
- Improved Decision-Making: Before making important choices or sending crucial emails, implement a brief pause. This short delay allows you to reconsider your actions, potentially avoiding hasty decisions or communications you might later regret.
- Enhanced Communication: Strategic silences in conversations are powerful tools. They provide others time to think and time for you to process information. In workplace communication, thoughtful pauses can lead to more meaningful and productive dialogues.
- Emotional Regulation: When feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, try the "count to ten" technique. This brief pause can help you regain composure and approach the situation with a clearer mind, leading to more constructive responses.
- Self-Awareness: Use pauses as opportunities for quick self-reflection. Take a moment to check in with yourself, asking, "What am I feeling right now?" This practice can increase your emotional intelligence and help you navigate workplace challenges more effectively.
- Creativity Boost: Brief breaks from focused work can stimulate creativity. When facing a complex problem, stepping away for a short time can allow your mind to process information subconsciously, often leading to new insights or solutions when you return to the task.
So how can we actually work it into our workday?
- Create a "pause playlist" with two-minute songs. When one plays, it's pause time!
- Implement the "meeting minute": Start each meeting with 60 seconds of silence. It's like a palate cleanser for your brain.
- Set visual cues: Put a small plant on your desk. Each time you notice it, take a deep breath.
- Take the "email pause" challenge: Wait five minutes before sending important emails. Future you will thank present you.
In the race to success, sometimes the best move is to pump the brakes. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, take a pause. Your brain will thank you, your colleagues will admire you, and who knows? You might just find that the key to getting ahead is occasionally doing nothing at all.
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Each week, we collect a few great reads from a variety of disciplines to help you forge new connections and gain fresh perspectives.
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Each week, we highlight some of the great things going on across the Starling community. Members can click on any of the links below to explore further.
- On Thursday, the Starling Community welcomed a dynamic group of leaders from our partnership with Furman University's Center for Innovative Leadership (CIL)! This group just completed CIL's Women's Leadership Initiative, and they are putting what they have learned into action as they embark on their 30-60-90 day plans.
- On Friday, Andrea shared the origin story of how Starlings (the birds, not the community members) were introduced to America and how that origin story has been debunked!
- On Tuesday, Melissa, Rachel, and Christine reflected on last week’s edition of The Murmuration and discussed how to break down silos. Melissa suggested establishing a company-wide roadmap to pull different teams together and get everyone swimming in the right direction!
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Given that you made it this far, we felt you ought to be rewarded with one of Jeff’s* Famous Dad Jokes: |
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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “I’ll have a rum... And coke.”
The bartender said, “What’s with the big pause?”
The bear shrugged. “I was born with them.”
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* Credit: Will Styler - Associate Teaching Professor of Linguistics at UC San Diego |
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Rachel & The Starling Team |
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